Life!  It just gets so hectic sometimes.  I had planned to post this the very next week after part 1, but shit got crazy.

In Part 1 I talked about family and what it means to me.  Also the definition of family.  If you haven’t read Part 1 yet, go check it out.

Due to the circumstances of my childhood I chose to parent completely differently.  I supported my kids in everything they wanted to do, even if I didn’t think it was a good idea.  One thing I think we misunderstand as parents, is it is not our job to control them and make their decisions for them.  If we take this approach they will rebel and not respect nor listen to anything we say.  Instead have conversations with your children about why they want to do something and what you see as being possibly bad with the situation.  Then let them handle it.

I heard a quote that said “Behind every mom who is told they are too close or too attached to their kids, is a mom who built her life around giving her kids a life they didn’t have to heal from like she did”  Please read that a few times and truly let that sink in.  For those of us that grew up needing to heal from our childhood this quote hits deep.  It truly makes me understand why I dedicated my life to protecting my children at all costs.  I don’t care who I made mad, or disagreed with me.  My children have been, still are and always will be the most important people in my life.

Now all of us as parents know how hard, yet beautifully rewarding it is to be a parent.  Our children do not come with owners manuals.  We literally just have to do the best we can for them.  None of us are perfect.  But come on, people put your children first!  There is still a lot of life to live after they are grown.  I will cancel any plan I have and say yes every time my kids want to do something with me.  Does this work for everyone?  Probably not.  But for me there is not a moment I want to miss out on with my children.  So if they want to hangout in any capacity with their mama, I am there!

I have extra kids at my house almost all of the time.  Most of these kids have childhoods that they feel like their parents don’t care.  Whether it be they are absent most of the time, abusive or too busy living their own life.  Is this because I am better than anyone?  Absolutely not!  The only thing I can figure out why they like being at my house is because they feel safe, heard, and know I am present.  I will be there if they need me. Just remember that you are your children’s world.  Some day they will become your built-in best friends.  But you have to be the adult for as long as you need to be in order for them to be children.

Now don’t get me wrong, my kids get mad at me plenty.  We have disagreements and I absolutely tell them my opinions on things.  Honestly it is usually when I am doing my own thing and not readily available to them.  But we have a mutual respect for each other that we are all allowed to have our own opinions and make our own decisions.

I have people tell me all the time that my kids are grown ass adults and I need to start focusing on other things.  But I just wholeheartedly disagree.  As long as I am able to support, help, love and hangout with my kids, I am going to put them first.

At the end of the day family is whomever you have in your life that you consider your family.  Everyone has choices to make and is incharge of their own life.  You get to decide who is a priority in your life and who isn’t.   You also get to decide if you want to deal with toxic behavior just because someone is blood related, or if you want to choose peace.

In the end the only persons’ happiness that matters is your own.  Do what makes you happy and only allow the people that bring you happiness into your life.