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It is okay to be a hot mess at times

I am so exciting to be writing this first post! Let me just tell you we have a lot to cover, obviously not all in this first post. The important thing is ladies you are amazing! Each and every one of you. I don’t care what walk of life you are in, at the present moment. Do not let anyone tell you that you are unworthy of anything and everything you desire. I have been through my fair share of people telling me that I am not good enough, or even that I am too much. Those days are over for me. Do you ever feel like your life is just one big hot mess?

It is okay to not have it all together, all the time. Let me start by saying my personality is just a lot to handle for some people. While my number one attribute in honesty, not everyone can handle it. I have always said people either full on love me, or full on hate me, there is not an in-between. I have been labeled as crazy, controlling, bitchy, etc. While I used to let those things bother me, as we as women all do. Words do hurt! The old saying sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me is BS. Not a single person has walked in anyone else’s shoes, which gives them no right to judge another person.

Most of us as women spend our time under pressure on so many levels. We are expected to take care of everyone and everything in our household. Plus, for most of us, still hold down a full-time job. Yet, we are not “allowed” to feel, have week moments, break downs, or days we just don’t want to get out of bed? No way! Screw all that. For me, in my previous relationship, if I wanted to have a glass of wine and a hot bath after a long day, I was criticized. “How hard could your day have been?” “You sit at a desk all day.” “At least you didn’t have to stand on your feet all day long.” As if taking a hot bath with a glass of wine was hurting anyone. Then he would proceed to sit in the bathroom and criticize me while I was trying to relax. I was unable to just take a minute for myself to unwind from rough day without being shamed. So, ladies, whatever you have to do to heal yourself from whatever you are dealing with, do it without apology.

You’re not crazy, you’re not lazy, you’re not any of the things people will tell you that you are. This is where the term Hot Mess comes from, as that is how I felt most of the time. Like life was just out of control and I couldn’t keep up. For most of my adult life, if I needed a day to rest I was shamed for it. “Did you even leave the house today?” “When was the last time you showered?” “Are you going to start going to the gym soon?” Um, no to all of your questions. I took a day to rest and that is okay.

However, when I felt like life was the messiest, that is when the Goddess was growing inside of me. I just didn’t know it. Are you ready to tap into your inner goddess?

When you are up to your eyeballs in shit to deal with, and not sure you can handle it all, I call this Hot Mess mode. Who is going to take care of the house and the family? The answer is: it is okay for you to take care of you first. There is absolutely no law, rule, guidebook, or anything else that says we have to have a spotless house and a healthy meal on the table to be a good person. If you want to feed the kids cereal and sit on your couch with a bottle of wine and Netflix after a hard day, you do just that! You need to do that for more than one day in a row? Do it!! Be forgiving to yourself, give yourself the same love and affection you do to everyone else.

I have always taken the high road, and promised myself I would not tell my side of the story. Well, I changed my mind! There is not a single woman in this world should have to be disrespected and treated poorly by another person that is not worthy of her love. Throughout my blog I will be telling many stories. I am hopeful this will give you the confidence to stand up for yourself and love yourself the way you deserve. Not all of these stories will be mine, I will be telling stories from many of my friends and family as well. Ladies you are not alone, and that is the most important thing to remember.

Are you looking for a safe zone where you can feel how you want without judgement? You found it!

If you are going through something I want to hear from you. My goal is supporting all women in all walks of life. Message me on social media or email me at [email protected].


About Me

As a mom-wife-girlfriend-friend-daughter-aunt, all of the hats we wear as women. Do you ever feel like you are just surviving? This is what I call hot mess mode. But through this stage of hot mess, there is a goddess arising. This blog is geared toward empowering women to feel comfortable in all their stages of life. Through the stories of my own, as well as many of my friends and family, I am here to tell you, it is okay to not be okay. It is okay to not have it all together all the time (be a hot mess). None of us are perfect, and we all are allowed to feel, heal, or deal however we want to, without guilt. The most powerful thing as a woman, is having other women in our corner. Let me tell you I am in your corner!

Am I a licensed professional…no! Have I been through my fair share of ups and downs, as well as helped my friends and family through the same… Yes! I have been to counseling several times in my life, and took it seriously. Learned skills, and lessons that has helped not only me, but others in my life several times. My goal is to use my experiences to help empower women to feel confident in navigating the ups and downs of life.

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