Do you ever feel the pressure of needing to have it all together all the time?  Of course, you do!  Women are notorious for feeling the need to be “perfect”.

The pressures of being a woman sometimes are just too much.  I am sure some of you will read this and think it is not easy being a man all time either.  Well guess what?  I am not a man, so I can only attest to what I know.

As a woman that became a mom and wife at a young age, I am here to tell you I am wore the hell out!  I did the whole take care of the family, maintain the house, keep up with kid’s sports, school events, grocery shopping, yard work, bills, garden, home projects, laundry, caring for the kids, cooking meals, etc.  Yes, I still have to do some of these things, but not to the degree I had in the past.  My only advice is let your family help you.  Advocate for family cleaning together and cooking together.  Had I not felt like it was my job to handle all of the above listed, while still working full time, I may not feel so burnt out now. 

I have literally spent my entire adult life taking care of other people.  I had my daughter and got married at 19.  I threw myself all in to being a mom and wife.  Loved every second of it!  But I never took any time whatsoever for myself.  I believed that going to do something for me without my husband or kids made me selfish.  Ladies, this is so very false.  Do not deprive yourself of self-care.  Self-care is not selfish.  Things are not going to completely fall apart if you take a few hours, a full day, or even a weekend off.

Allow yourself to rest and rejuvenate.  It took me far too long to learn this.  I am going to tell you as much as you feel like you have it all together taking care of everything all the time.  If you are not allowing yourself to rest, you are thriving in Hot Mess Mode.  I say thriving because, I always felt like I had it all together and my life was in all sense “perfect”.  My house was clean, we had groceries, family dinner every night, etc.  All the stereotypical things that make a family so “perfect”.  This is BS!

People are going to judge us no matter what.  Repeat that….NO MATTER WHAT.  Literally anything and everything we do in life will be judged by someone.  So, what really matters is taking care of ourselves and doing what makes us happy.  Allow yourself to not have to be “perfect”.  Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel.  Allow yourself to rest.  Allow yourself to make mistakes. 

We just had a holiday weekend.  I had four days off work.  Guess what?  I rested.  I did not do any of the typical things people do with their long holiday weekends.  My daughter was camping with friends and my son was with his dad for the weekend.  I literally had the freedom to do whatever I wanted to do.  I chose rest and rejuvenation.  I did not leave my house for four days.  It was fantastic!  I watched TV, took naps, ate what I wanted, organized some things around the house, sat outside on the patio, literally whatever I wanted with no pressure.  I didn’t have to take care of anyone or anything but myself.  Anytime prior to this year, I would have never allowed myself to do this.  I would have had to care for someone, cater to their wants and needs, or felt necessary to do something even if I didn’t want to because that is what I was “supposed to do”.

If you are anything like me, you put more pressure on yourself than any other person could ever put on you.  Stop that right now!  Allow yourself to just be.  Give yourself grace.  Be patient with yourself.  Do not expect too much of yourself.  Remember that you are only human and are allowed to rest, make mistakes, not be perfect, and have feelings.

On the road from Hotmess to Goddess. Give yourself grace.  Allow yourself to be you.  You do not have to answer to anyone but yourself, for your decisions.  Once you are able to be comfortable and confident in your decisions, small or big, you are officially entering Goddess Mode.