Holy cow!  Time seems to speed up more and more.  Life moves so fast.  Are you taking time to cherish the little things?

I know that there are songs, books, movies, TV shows, etc. about cherishing life and never knowing what is coming.  There are sayings all over the place.  Buy the plane ticket, take the job, take the trip, buy the house, buy the car…. they go on and on.  But do you actually take time to think about these things and understand the reality?

Life is messy. It is chaotic.  It throws curve balls.  Tomorrow is truly never promised. 

I am not encouraging walking around in fear for death all the time.  I am more so referring to cherishing the little things and not stressing so much.  Enjoy life more.  Also, understanding that losing someone doesn’t always mean that person is no longer alive.  People come and go from our lives; it is a part of the life cycle.  If someone you care about leaves your life tomorrow, are you going to be able to cherish the memories you have, or feel regret for the way you treated them while they were around?  In this crazy thing we call life we do not get do overs. 

I find that it is extremely difficult for men to comprehend this for some reason.  I find men to be seekers.   Constantly seeking more.  Whether it be toys (boats, motorcycles, tools, etc.), more money, new jobs, bigger houses, bigger garages.  I am sure there are plenty of women out there that live this way to.  But this blog is about my experiences.  My experience is men have a hard time enjoying and being thankful for what they have.  They are constantly seeking more.

Granted I have been through my fair share of shit that has made me more of a live for the moment kind of person.  In 2009 I was diagnosed with uterine cancer at 26 years old.  At the time my kids were seven and three.  I was scared to death.  I beat this battle with simple surgery, and life was back to normal.   In 2015 I was studying for my real estate license and struggling health wise.  I was in and out of the hospital and the doctors were not sure what was wrong.  This started in April of 2015 and in August of 2015 we finally received a diagnosis of epilepsy.  I have never had a grand mal seizure, nor lost consciousness from this disease.  I continued to work my full-time job, take care of my kids, my house, and passed my real estate exam in October of 2015.  I continued working my full-time job and selling real estate full time from 2015-2018.  All while maintaining, my mom and wife duties.  In 2018 my then husband of 16 years decided to move his life in a different direction without his kids and I included.  I took care of all the divorce paperwork, listed the house for sale, found the kids and I a place to live, attended school functions, continued with sporting events for the kids, all while working full time and selling estate.  I eventually had to give up my real estate license to get through my divorce.  Fast forward a few years to 2021 at the age of 38 I had a heart attack.  Again, some medication and a simple fix.

Now I know what some of you are thinking.  It must be my fault that I have had these health issues.  There is no way someone experiences this many things while maintaining a healthy lifestyle.  Well let me tell you that I am perfectly healthy.  I eat well, take vitamins, exercise, and do not drink excessively.  This is just the hand I was delt.  I know that some of it was brought on by stress.  When I had my heart attack in 2021, my doctor flat told me that my heart was in great shape, no blockages, nothing concerning, but I had to get my stress level down.  They diagnosed me with Skad Type II, also known as the broken heart disease.  I used to be one that stressed over every little detail of life to make sure everything was “perfect”.  Well, it almost killed me a few times.  Now I do not give a shit about anything being perfect.

In addition to my own health problems, in January of 2021 my son randomly had a grand mal seizure.  This came out of nowhere.  He was diagnosed with epilepsy as well.  Let me tell you if you ever see your child have a seizure, it is one of the scariest, most heartbreaking things ever to watch.  It creates a whole new level of trauma.  He went for two years with no seizure activity.  Then once again out of nowhere a few weeks ago he had another one.  Let me tell you, I am reliving this trauma all over again. 

The point I am trying to make is this: life is short, time is not promised.  Pay attention to the little things and let the small things go.  Strive to be a good person always.  Make sure you don’t let your pride or stubbornness create regret later.  Do whatever you can to make memories with the people you hold near and dear. 

Someone once said to me focusing on the past is like trying to shove shit up your own ass.  Yes, this is a little vulgar, but it is reality.  He said once you go to the bathroom, you are not going to pick it up and try to put it back, so why try to focus on your past. 

 We are all only in control of our own actions.  There is not another person that can control you, nor that you can control.  Work on yourself daily.  Even if it is something small.  Shit happens, life is hard.  Do not feel sorry for yourself.  Pick yourself up and move on.  Figure out what comes next, instead of focusing on what just happened.  What happened is in the past, now what do you want the future to look like?

Live for the little moments.  My kids give me so much shit for the number of pictures I take.  But you know what every picture I take brings me joy.  If I am having a bad day, I can go back and look at something we have recently done, and I feel instantly better.  My son comes into my room a few nights a week and we look through old pictures or videos and reminisce.  The other night we were laughing so hard our faces and stomachs hurt.  These are moments we far too often take for granted. 

We all have choices.  We can live focusing on the negative and all the bad that happens.  Or we can focus our energy on the daily little things that bring us joy.  It really is up to you how you want to spend your days.  Not everyone is going to match your energy, or effort.  Being upset about this is only going to ruin your peace.

As always, I want to hear from you.  Struggling and feeling out of whack?  Reach out!  We will all take a step back every now and then from our journey.  Things change, change is hard.  Keep moving forward and working on yourself.  You are the only one that you can change or improve.  Become the best version of yourself.