What is a better­­ than? Anyone that has ever made it known that they think they are better than someone else.

Ladies listen up. As women we should be looking out for each other, not tearing each other down. It is easy to get caught up in envy, jealousy, greed, competition, and comparisons.  We tend to always think we know what someone else is doing, when in reality the only one we know for sure what they are thinking or doing is ourselves.  Have you ever felt like you are better than someone or judged them unfairly? Better yet, have you ever been judged, or been made to feel like you are not good enough?

I cannot speak for everyone, obviously.  However, I am sure that most of you can relate.  I have yet to meet a woman that is not just trying their best.  By this I mean doing whatever they can to get through each day as their best self.  Yet we tend to think we are the only ones doing this.  Everyone is in a different walk of life.  Some have better upbringings than others.  Others go through more hardships later in life.  Some have what is classified as the “perfect” life.  The whole big house, white picket fence vibe.  Do you actually believe that someone with a seemingly “perfect” life does not have struggles?  Life is messy and it throws a lot of curve balls.

Think about this.  As a woman the stereotype is if you work fulltime, you’re not as good of a mother as a stay-at-home mom.  If you’re a stay-at-home mom you’re not contributing to your household financially, having to go without certain luxuries.  I know this is not the case, but it is how the world has trained us to see these situations. All while being a single mom is one of hardest things a woman can through.  Is it best in some situations to go it alone?  Absolutely! Please do not let these judgements ruin your inner peace. Whatever situation you are in, do not let the judgements of others dim your light.  But in return, have grace for others.

It is so easy to get confused. The next time you find yourself judging another woman, feeling better than.  Ask yourself this question:  Better than what?  How am I better than this person? Do I have the right to judge this person? Have I taken the time to get to know this person and understand them? 

I had a friend recently tell me that the most meaningful compliment they can receive is one that comes from another woman.  I had to really think about that for while to process what she meant.  As women we tend to dislike other women for silly reasons. They are too pretty, too ugly, too rich, too snotty, too poor, too uptight, too wild, too fat, too skinny, etc. The only way I can explain what she was trying to say is that women are overly judgmental to one another. It is extremely easy to get compliments from men, kids, family, and coworkers.  How often do you give another woman that you do not know?  Have you ever complimented a random stranger?

I have been judged in my life plenty, envied others, and judged other women unfairly.  Most recently I was called a crack whore, by someone that only knew of me through someone else.  I will tell you when I hear things like this that are absolutely false, instead of getting offended I can do nothing but laugh.  My friends and I take this as a great opportunity to create a joke out of the false attack. It actually brings happiness and laughter to my life. This is how I handle these situations, but for some it hurts their selfesteem. Makes them question who they are. It is instances like this that make the one judging look bad, instead of what they are trying to accomplish, which is to make you look bad.  Ladies we need to do better.  Stop feeling better than others.  Stop tearing others down.  The next time you feel like judging another woman ask yourself one question: Why?  Why am I judging her? 

Remember these quotes the next time you feel like judging someone “Insecure women insult other women.  Confident women compliment other women.”  “Be the woman that fixes another woman’s crown, without telling the world it was crooked.”  Can you imagine we all banded together and lifted each other up instead of tearing each other down? Beyonce’s song “Run the World” may be true if we were kinder to each other. 

Part of the path from Hot Mess 2 Goddess is self-reflection. You cannot enter full goddess mode until you work on yourself. Determine what kind of person you want to be and own it! Do not apologize for your decisions. Live and learn. Have as much fun as possible and be kind to others. Do not let the judgements of others change who you are or want to be.

If you are going through something I want to hear from you.  My goal is to support all women in all walks of life.  Message me on social media or email me at [email protected].